February 06, 2005
7:22 p.m.

The last couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful. I have decided I absolutely hate my English professor. She loves me, which is a plus, but she is probably the worst teacher I have had the displeasure to meet. She spells worse than I do, which let me tell you is saying something. The things that she write on the board are unimportant little tidbits, which would be okay if it didn't take her ten minutes to write three words. She can never remember what she has and hasn't told us. She'll ask for assignments she hasn't assigned. Then, she will tell you something will not be on the test, that it's not important and then put one third of the questions on that topic. She's already on probation with the head of the department, so we'll have to see what happens.

I was ready to throttle Dr. Fuller again, but that's nothing new is it. We were doing a fine needle aspirate on a mass, which basically means we were trying to collect a few cells to send off so we could see if it was cancer. Instead of cells, however, we got a bunch of fluid. Dr. Fuller decided that he wanted to have the fluid analysed. The lab we send stuff off to had several different options for fluid analysis, so I asked him which one he wanted. He had no idea, so he tells me to call about ten different places. Okaaaay, you have no idea what you want, but you want me to somehow call these labs and get you an answer. "Oh, yes ma'am, I want some fluid analysed. For what? Oh, I don't know, do I really need that information? " Yeah, that would be a very productive phone call. I'm sorry, if he can't tell me a general idea of what he's looking for, there isn't really anything I can do to get him an answer. He got mad at me for nicely telling him I couldn't pull an answer out of my ass, and that he would have to call himself. I swear, fifteen minutes of working with him and I start grinding my teeth.

Michelle and Dr. C are already starting to talk about my replacement. Panic about it is more the word. I've still got six months, I really don't think it will be that hard to find someone. Dr. C is pretty self sufficiant. The only real thing is the equine anesthesia...and working with Dr. C's moods. She can be really cool one minute and be psyco bitch the next. I just kind of role with the moods. You have to learn not to take them personally. It's still really weird to think about not working there. It's been almost four years.

I was thinking today that I kind of wish I had worked at a fast food resaraunt or something like that during my teen years. I mean, you have a bad day at work there, you burn someone's fries and they complain, at my job...I've seen a lot of death and a lot of tears. I don't know, sometimes I just long for a job where there isn't so much stress. Where I am not constantly retracing my steps to make sure I haven't dosed a dog wrong or given the wrong medication. The vets trust me so much, it's a lot on my shoulders. I know that being a vet is going to be about stress and making the tough choices, and if I can survive equine anesthesia, I know I can handle being a vet. I guess sometimes I just have to wonder what the hell am I thinking. Do I really want that much stress. But it's worth it, I think. It has to be.

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