2001-11-04
7:19 p.m.

Today, a five week puppy came in on an emergency. A large Rottweiler had attacked it, and it had severe head trauma. It could only walk in circles, and could hardly move it's back legs. Dr. Fuller told the woman that the puppy most likely wouldn't make it. I saw her eyes loose all the light in them, and I felt lost along with her.

When he walked out of the room, the woman looked at me, tears in her eyes, 'Do you think she'll make it?' I just stood there for a moment, knowing the answer was most likely no, but what do you really say to that?

'I have seen animals that I -knew- were going to die walk out of here. All you can do is try your hardest, and if she lives, then you will know that -you- saved her life. That you helped her. If she dies, then you will know that you did the very best you could.' The woman just kind of nodded, and pulled the puppy close to her chest. I wanted to cry.

I think one of the most important lessons that I will take with me from the clinic is that death is never easy, or simple. There is always going to be pain, and heart ache. It's the memories though, all the love, and the good times that remain. Something may die, but every smile that it gave you lives on. When I think of my old horse Cracker, I don't cry any more, but I smile. Putting him down was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I was there for him in death, as I was in life. It's the life that I remember, the gentle nuzzles, the nickers. So, no, death is never easy, but without it, would life be as wonderful?

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