October 13, 2002
10:20 p.m.

I had to call 911 today for my Mom, which, needless to say, is not the best way to spend your day off. I heard her calling my name, and went into her bathroom, to find her laying on the floor, curled up in a fetal ball, grasping her stomach. Everytime she would try to get up, she would turn as white as a ghost, and almost pass out. She could barely talk, but she refused to let me take her to the hospital. It took me five minutes, and one particularly bad blast of pain to get her convinced. I tried to get her out to the car, but there was no way that it was going to happen. Another few minutes of me watching her grimace on the floor in pain, feeling helpless, and I finally had her convinced to let me call an ambulance.

After being put on hold by 911 (good thing my Mom wasn't in cardiac arrest), and meeting the two most rude, and arrogent EMTs around, I found myself in the emergency room with my Mom. In the end, it ended up being an ovarian cyst that was trying to rupture, and ended up rupturing during the two hours we were waiting to see the doctor. Five and a half hours later, we got to to home. This has been the week from hell.

Dr. C's cat died on Friday, and, for once, she hid her tears from no one. Kathy ended up driving her to the University of Georgia, to spend a few last moment with her cat before he died. An erie silence filled the clinic, I don't think any of us really knew what to do, how to help her grieve.

With Dr. C gone, and Dr. Fuller on emergencies, there were no doctors in the clinic. Of course, when there are no doctors in the clinic, we have to have the customary walk in emergency. We informed the woman that no doctor was there, but she felt that her cat would be able to wait. The cat's temperature was ten degrees below what it should be, and her gums were pretty pale. I gave her warm fluids, and put her on a heating pad, which was all I really thought should be done. I had to go deliver fluids to a barn near the clinic for Dr. Fuller, and when I arrived back, I checked on the kitty, to find her not breathing. I felt so lost. There was no doctor there, and, the only other people there were the receptionist, and Ashley, neither of which who really knew what to do in that situation. I was scared. I reacted though. I grabbed the cat out of the cage, throwing him on the surgery table, screaming for Ashley to get in there. I have learned how to tube an animal, but I have never actually done it, well, I learned how to do it on my own very quickly. I quickly told Ashley how to breath for the cat, while I began compressions. I knew it was hopeless, that cat was cold to the touch, there was no bringing him back. I didn't want to give up though, no after how horrible the day had been going. Despite my efforts, the cat never had a heart beat, or a breath.

I sat in the room with the cat, long after we had stopped trying, and berated myself. I -know- that there was really nothing I could have done to save the cat. She was in bad shape, but, it doesn't stop me from second guessing myself. I kept thinking that I should have put a catheter in, I should have taken X-rays, I should have forced the lady to bring the cat to another clinic. I guess I just want to save them all.

<-//->