2001-05-30
5:25 p.m.

Waiting rooms always facinate me. I learn a lot about human nature, and how we instantly don't trust. In the waiting room, people will normally keep at least one seat inbetween them and another person, and when that isn't an option, I watch as their eyes nervously skitter around the room, contemplating a way to get out of their little predicimate. Other people in the room will look nervously at the seat beside them, and try to make themselves look bigger, as if they have to take up both seats. 'Don't let her sit here,' I can almost hear them thinking. When the person finally chooses a seat, all the other people in the room let out a soft sigh, while the 'unfortunate' person who's second seat was taken offers their new neighbor a tight lipped smile, and then continue to fidget. No one makes eye contact, but inside they are secretly wondering why each person is present in the office. It's almost as if we are waiting for someone to lunge, to go crazy. What has the world come to when people are so against trust of any kind.

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today. We go through the usual song and dance where he asks me questions, and ups my medication. Today wasn't so bad because I was actually able to decrease my Paxil a little bit. Anyway, he got to the point where he likes to go over what I talked to him about in the previous session. So, he reads the chart "Ahh, I see last time we talked about your... oh...uh.. interests. And..well...umm.. your...well," imagine some type of hand gesture here, "you know..your..uh..your sexua..uh..ality." I am trying not to bust out laughing at his troubles. I tell him that nothing has changed, that my mom is better dealing with it, and that I am more comfortable with it. He nods, then completely changes the subject. I think I thrive too much on his uncomfortableness, hehe.

I heard an add on the radio today that I thought was kind of strange. It was for this club, and they listed their features, and the last feature was 'live adult entertainment on Saturday,' which, that in and of itself isn't that unusual, but it was the next sentence that made me chuckle. 'This makes this a great place for a business meeting, or a romantic dinner with that special someone.' Okay, lets picture this. You are staring deeply into your lovers eyes, glass of champagne resting in your hand, and you notice that your lover has a goofy smile on his/her face. Momentarily, you think the smile is for you, when you notice that he/she isn't even look at you, but that the naked star up on the stage. Yeah..that's my idea of a romantic evening alright.



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