December 02, 2002
8:58 p.m.

I am so tired of trying to please everyone but myself. Everytime I start doing things for me, everyone else in my life gets so angry, and I go right back to trying to make them happy.

Today, my Mom was down and out about money again, and I sat down to talk to her, and try to comfort her, offering her $1400 dollars to try and make things better. Instead of making things better, she ended up yelling at me about everything I am doing wrong with -my- life. I just get tired of trying, and getting knocked down again and again.

I feel like I have spent more time crying at home lately than I have laughing. That's not how it's supposed to be. I keep wondering what happened to the relationship my Mom and I had. She used to be my best friend, and now, I don't want to be around her. I don't know, maybe it's teenage hormones, maybe it's Roger, maybe it's just life, but I don't like it. I shouldn't avoid going home. Home is supposed to be a safe place, not a place I come just to sleep.

I don't know, I just needed to get that out.

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