2002-01-24
10:50 p.m.

So, a check of my stats proved that my cousin has been reading this. With that conformation came my fight or flight response. Part of me screams to delete the whole thing, start fresh, then, the other part tells me that this diary is a part of me, and I have no need to run. So, first, I will try the simple approach, and if it doesn't work, I fear this diary may disappear. Kim, please let this be my outlet, my personal thing. Delete this from your mind, and your computer screen. Please.

The other day we were putting a dog down at the clinic, and we were letting the owners say their final good-bye. I stood away from them, giving them time alone, just standing there, as the wind blew through my hair. I saw the woman, tears streaming down her cheek, hug her dog so tightly, and I felt so lost, so out of place. It's just..there is always that peace just before an animal, or even a person goes. I feel like an intruder in that moment, it doesn't belong to me, it belongs to the person going through the pain. It's that moment when everything is going to be okay; when the woman looks up at us, and nods; when a friend in pain is let go.

I got to scrub into another surgery yesterday, which still has not lost it's thrill. For those weak in the stomach, I will for go the bloody details. It just gives me an extra thrill to be trusted enough to assist. To be handed an instrument, I don't know, it's one of those things that can't be explained.

I took a look at the dogs and cats that have been abandoned at our clinic in the past year, and thought about where they have gone.
Cody- a puppy dropped of, weighing only four pounds, and infested with worms is now a twenty pound dog, living on thirty acres, when he isn't in the house, curled up on the couch
PJ- a black dog found wondering the street, a bit skinny, with a too-tight collar around his neck. He has now saved two dogs by being the clinic blood donar dog. He gets lots of loving, treats, and food, and is a favorite among our clinic.
Sidewinder- the frightened little dog found in our parkinglot. Now lives on a farm with cattle, where she will never go hungry again.
Karima- the abused dog found cowering in the middle of the highway. The dog that now sleeps with me, and gets lots of leftovers. A dog that will never be hit again.
Piper and Gracie- Two puppies left in a box in our parking lot, two puppies who also live with me, and are spoiled rotten.
Sparky- the kitten who's owner didn't feel like paying for the kittens cleft-pallet to be fixed after biting on an electrical cord. A kitten who now thinks she is a dog, and lives a happy life at our clinic.
Sandy- the little dog who was an escape artist, who's owner gave her up. Now a fat happy little dog in someone's home.
Blue and BJ- two german shepheards abandoned at our clinic, one, now training to be a police dog, the other, laying infront of a fire in a single womans home.
Bear- the rotweiler, abandoned with the shepheards, who is spoiled rotten by a favorite client of ours.

I am sure there were more, but those are the only ones I can remember. Do these people have any idea what the dogs and cats that the deemed worthless have become to others? I guess that puts meaning to the saying "One person's trash is another person's treasure."

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