2002-05-18 That was my day at work. I wanted so bad to save this young puppy. I kept thinking, maybe if I could save him, it would somehow make up for the fact that I couldn't save Max. We had him for a minute, he was coming back, but he lost the will to live. I was helpless. I've never done compressions on a dog, but my instinct took over. Nothing else mattered, but what I was doing. Then, it was over. BAM! Life blinked out, like a candle in a storm. I turned around, and I kicked the wall out of anger. Dr. C came up behind me, and put a hand on my shoulder. It was a gesture of shared pain. I heard her mutter "dammit" as she walked out the door. I looked at the blister welling up on my thumb from our oxygen bag, and I just had to take a break. I know I can't save them all, but it sure doesn't stop me from trying darn hard. ::sigh:: Thank you all for your "I'm sorry's," they really do mean a lot to me. I think I am okay though. I mean, it hurts a lot, but, I will get up tomorrow, the sun will still shine, and life will go on. I will see Max, and all my other animals that have passed before me in another time and place. <-//->
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