2001-04-09
3:46 p.m.

Oh shit... That's right, I just cussed. My heart is beating um..really really fast right now. Jenn's dad just showed up at my house. Oh my God. I am scared to death. His temper scares me..and I know that he hates me right now..and I know what happened with Jenn last night. He read some E-mails that we had sent back and forth, and printed some out..and then threw her computer out the window..and now he is outside the door. And..shit.

I am having a big panic attack..but where is my xanax..in the living room. There is no way in hell I am going out there while he is here. I am shaking so much I can hardly type. I'll make an update when I find out what was said..shit. ############ UPDATE Okay, so I kinda got scared for no real reason. It just freaked me out that he showed up. I mean, I made it sound like I was afraid he was gonna come and shoot me, but that's not how it was. I was just afraid of what he would say. Last time he had talked ot me, he said some things that had really hurt me, and I just couldn't deal with that. As soon as I saw him walk up to the door, I screamed "shit" infront of my mom, who has never heard me cuss, and ran full speed into my room. Me, a wimp..oh yeah. My mom talked to him for a while, and she said he was very apologetic for the things that he said to me the other night, and that he still did love me. That he really liked me a lot, he just didn't like what Jenn and I were doing. I can accept that. I just hate not having contact with Jenn. I mean, if they don't want us to have a relationship..well, fine, we'll wait, but I am having a really hard time dealing with not having my best friend around. Especially now. I'm hoping that now that he has talked to my mom, and stuff, that he will begin to deal with everything. I really like Jenn's dad, just not when his temper makes him irrational. I just hope that her parents come around and at least let us have our friendship back, because that is one of the most important things for me.

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