November 03, 2005
10:59 a.m.

So, my phone just rang it was the clinic I work at. I picked up to hear a very upset voice, "Heather?" It was one of those half crying, half keeping it together tone. Dr. C never gets that tone, so I knew something was wrong. I had been keeping an eye on her cats last week while she was at a vet conference. Her favorite, and oldest, kitty was a little reluctant to get up Saturday, but he has arthritis and a blown ACL, so I figured with the colder weather, he was just more sore than normal. I gave him a can of cat food, and he gulped it down and purred for me, so I wasn't overly worried. I left a note for her, since she was due back the next afternoon, and didn't really think too much about it. Apparently he was okay sunday and monday, but went down hill monday night. He had renal failure, quit eating, and developed some liver failure to top it off. She couldn't get him out of it, and she euthanized him this morning.

I felt like an idiot because all I could do was say 'I'm sorry.' Then, she apologizes to me for not calling me in time for me to come up and say goodbye to him. *Her* cat just died, and she's worried I'll be mad because *I* didn't get to say goodbye. Then, on top of that, she apologized for ruining my day so early in the morning. It just broke my heart that much more. She's obviously beyond upset, and she's worried my day is ruined. I wish there were some magic word or action that would make it better. I want to do something for her, but I just don't know what.

I'm sure some people are rolling their eyes, saying it's just a cat, but for Dr. C it's like she just lost a kid. Plus, after putting her kitty to sleep, she not only has to work today, but she is also on call all night, so she can't even go out and get sloppy drunk. Bleh. Now I keep wondering if I should have taken him into the clinic. I mean, he was acting okay, but I knew something wasn't right. Hindsight really sucks sometimes. Poor Dr. C. This whole life and death things really sucks sometimes.

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