2001-03-11
02:14:17

So, my mom hit me with another religion talk, or should I say lecture, today. It all started when she asked me if I wanted to go to church with my grandparents tomorrow. I should have just said yes, because then she would have left me alone, and been happy, but I knew if I said yes, that I would never get to see Jenn. I've been trying to get together with her all weekend. Anyway, I said no, that I would rather not. Well, that started world war three.

She asked me why I didn't want to go, and I told her I just didn't. Being Babtist, almost every sermon has something about how horrible it is to be bi, gay or lesbian, and I just don't feel like sitting through that. I of course didn't say that, butI was thinking it. Then she asked me if I wanted to go to the church near here. As soon as she asked that, I knew I was in trouble. I told her no again.

Then began the lecture of how I needed church in my life right now. That she was worried about my soul. That I was changing and not for the better. And other such stuff as that. Although she wasn't saying it, I know that she was talking about my biness. She was telling me that at church, I could meet a lot of people, and maybe find a boyfriend. I know she has a hard time accepting this, but I -am- in a relationship right now. I am happy. I am happier than I have been in a while. I know that my mom is having a hard time with this, but she has got to start trusting my judgement, or it is going to tear us apart more than we are now.

I think if my mom knew how I felt when I was around Jenn, how happy I was, then maybe she would understand more about me. Jenn is one of those people, who I can be be around, sitting with her in perfect silence, and think that it was the most amazing conversation ever. It's like, if I have that connection to a guy, then he is my soul mate, but if I have it with a girl, then it's just a really good friendship. That's not the case with Jenn and I. I do love her, I love being around her, I love everything about her. I just wish my mom could feel that.

Anyway, on to happier subjects. I got a guestbook. I just got annoyed with the analyzer, because if you aren't signed in, or don't have a diary, then you can't sign. So, I broke down and got the guestbook. Also, I got a new layout..although if you haven't realized that yet, then you skills of observation are in need of work. I know the pictures take a while to load, blame it on virtue.nu.

Oh, and Maile, I'm going to write my mental illness entry tomorrow.

"Lets take a picture now
I do not want to forget
the way you look at me
when everything is perfect
a perfect memory
of when things are so good
and everything has worked out
just the way we knew it would."

Doria Roberts "Perfect"

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