January 13, 2003
10:46 p.m.

What do you guys think of the new layout?

Sometimes, I think it would be better to just stay in bed. You know how I said my truck was overheating? Well, I woke up early this morning to take it in, believing that they could have it done by twelve. My dad had agreed to get my new tired, and pay for them to fix, what he believed, was a leaky radiator hose. So, the people at the car place told me that getting it done by twelve should be no problem..blah blah blah. At eleven thirty they called, and told me the little seventy dollar procedure I was expecting was going to end up costing five hundred dollars, if I was lucky; worst case scenario, it would be over two thousand. It was a lot worse than a simple leaky hose. Normally, while both prices were extremely high, I would be able to handle it. Well, my Mom's stunt last week meant that I was missing the 2500 dollars I should have had. My dad could only pay for the tires, and about a hundred dollars of whatever else needed to be done. Had they not already put the tires on, I would have said screw it, and waited on them, but the cost of labor to to remove them, and put the old ones back on would end up being almost as much as the tires themselves. I ended up just having to cry in frustration. My Mom was feeling like major crap, knowing it was mostly her fault that I was struggling to find the money to pay for this. She ended up talking to Roger, and he, in a ditch attempt to get me to like him (that's the vibe I get anyway) is going to not pay his lawyer, or something, and give me a couple hundred dollars. It should be enough, since the place called me, and told me that it was the best case scenario. It was just really stressful for a while.

When I went to work today, I was really upset, and ended up telling Kathy about it. Now, Kathy and I have a kind of on again, off again relationship. Some days, she is really nice to me, and we get along great, other days she goes into psycho must treat Heather like a raving idiot routines, and I can't stand to be within a hundred feet of her. Anyway, she isn't in the greatest of financial situations either, but she sat there, and told me that all I had to do was say the word, and she would get on the phone with the car place, and pay them with her credit card. As I was thanking her, but declining, Michelle came in, asking me what was up, and if she could help. I told her what was up, and she told me she had some money, and she would be happy to give me all I needed. I'm sitting there telling her no, when Dr. C pipes in, telling me that I knew she had more money than she needed, and she would be happy to help out. Now, as much fun as it was having people trying to throw money at me, I had to decline, telling them I would see if Roger worked out first. I don't know, it was just nice that these people would go out of their way to try and help me. I am surrounded by such amazing people, I am truely lucky.

Speaking of Michelle, she calls my Mom up tonight, and tells her to get me to call her. She then tells my Mom that the DJ at the Countryside party has a little crush on me, and wanted my phone number. He told Michelle that he thought I was beautiful, and he loved that I was so shy. Michelle went on and on about this guy. So, my Mom is telling me all this over the phone, and I am just shaking my head. I don't know how I attract people. I mean, at the party, asside from the three or four times I got up to dance, I sat at the table and talked with everyone there. To be honest, I don't even remember what the DJ guy looked like. Mom keeps hinting that I should go out with him. I am thinking of maybe just doing it, so then, she can see that I tried it. I just really have no desire to..but, I am having a hard time thinking of a good reason to say no, without letting Michelle know about me.

I am probably going to have a black eye tomorrow, because, sweet, innocent little Maggie jumped up to greet me today, and her nose made contact with my eye. I have tried and tried to break her of this little jumping habit, but she just can't quite get it. Heh, and this is the dog they said would never walk again.

I hate having second thoughts about things. I hate sitting and wondering if I did the right thing, or the wrong thing. I really don't know the answer. I wrote an E-mail, and I just don't know if it was for the best or not. I don't know, I guess, most of the time, your first instinct is the one to go on. I just hope everything turns out okay.

Well, I am going to go back to holding ice to my eye, but I just thought I would take a minute to update.



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