2001-01-16
01:43:52

Today I downloaded a program from SETI (Search for extraterrestrial intelligence) that allows me to help look for aliens..hehe :) Basically, they use my computer to help scan radio frequencies, it's actually pretty cool, or -I- think it is anyway.

I watched Ally McBeal tonight, and it was a very sweet episode. It was testing the boundries of love, which is something that every day tests, and I think that Ally portrayed it in a realistic light tonight. I think Robert Downey jr. is a wonderful actor, I was really feeling for him during the show.

Poor Merilily is sick, so everyone should send her an e-bowl of chicken noodle soup.

I dreamed about my step-father last night, and in the dream I called him an ass-hole, and believe me, I woke up feeling a lot better. I won't get into any of the other details of what I called him in my dream. My sub concious obviously has no problem using cuss words, my brain is quite mad at it for using such inappropriate language.

I was listening to Shawn Colvin's "I don't want to live on the Moon" and it got me thinking. I used to wish I could live anywhere else but in my house when my step-father was there, but, in the end, I'm kind of glad that I couldn't move away. As much as I despise my step-father, he helped make me who I am. Although, he did give some trust issues and such, he also, indirectly, made me believe in myself more than I ever thought possible. I never let him get me down, and he never lowered my self esteem, and I think that the fact he kept trying, actually strengthened me. So, I guess, sometimes, you just have to stick through something to find out that in the end, it was better that way.

My step-father was a scum bag, and I have no problem admitting it now. I used to try and defend him, saying that he had a screwed up childhood, but, in retrospect, I realize that it's a simple as him being a scum bag. He's a scum bag that doesn't deserve another thought. Case closed :)

I was reading an article about Eminem today, and it got me kind of mad. A lot of his lyrics are derogetory toward women, and homosexuals and other stuff. I mean, I know he has a right to say his opinion, but sometimes I think he goes a little bit overboard. What amazes me is how many girls there are out there, who ignore the mean comments he makes toward him, and like him just because of his looks. Some of those psycopathic killers look kinda cute too, if girls are that brainwashed by cuteness, then this world is in a lot of trouble. I mean no offense to those who like Eminem, I'm just expressing my opinion. When even his own parents are suing him, you know something has got to be wrong there. I don't know him in real life, and he may be a great guy, but from his song lyrics, I think is his arrogent, and believes himself to be better than everyone, and I can't stand that. ::steps off soap box::

"I'd like to visit the moon
on a rocket ship high in the air
yes I'd like to visit the moon
but I don't think I'd like to live there
thoough I'd like to look down on the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
and though I'd like it for one afternoon
I don't want to live on the moon"

Shawn Colvin "I don't want to live on the moon"

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