2001-04-28
11:53 p.m.

I'm doing better now than I was earlier. I guess I just needed the shock to wear off a bit, but I feel a lot better. I did a lot of thinking, and when my grandmother dies, I have faith that she will be going to heaven, and in heaven I can still talk to her, and she can talk back to me in those subtle ways. For now, she's fine, she's still alive, and I just have to make the best of the time that I have with her. One of my only regrets is that my young cousins won't really get to know the wonderful person that she is.

I ran into Rosie on Lesbian Nation. Unfortunately, the little IM windows suck so much, it isn't even worth talking to anyone, cause of all the trouble you have to go through. I'm really fond of Lesbian Nation though, because it basically answers any questions, or curiosities that I might have. It also gives me a place to talk to other people having the same thoughts as me.

My mom has actually been getting a lot better as far as my sexuality is concerned, she was even able to joke about it a little bit today. A very good sign. She was telling me that if I told a friend of mine I was bi, she would soon have people that she hasn't worked with calling her up saying:
"Hey Deb, how are you doing, haven't heard from you in a while. I heard that Heather is bi."
The sad part is, that's the truth. As sad as it is, nurses are very good gossipers. So, for my mom's sake, I didn't tell my friend, although she does have this diary address, so she could always find out on her own.

Things eventually will have to start getting better for me..I mean, I know I broke that mirror almost seven years ago..hasn't the curse ran out yet?

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