2001-08-29 The best way I know to answer this question is to say I am simply me. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, on a daily basis I am sure. Sometimes I am happy, other times I am sad. I am my parent's child, taking, what I hope are good traits, from both of them. I am a girl that likes other girls. I am someone that will stand up for a friend until the bitter end. I put on a front of strength, but it's not above me to cry at sad movies. Like I said, I am just me. I guess that's all anyone really is. I always hate answering this question, not because of how I look, but because I don't see the relevence. I've bared my soul, and people can either like that, or not, my looks should really make no difference..but for the curious. I am 5'1, short, I know. I am 98 lbs, but weight isn't something I worry about. I want to be healthy, and that's all that matters to me. I have brown wavy/curly (depending on weather) hair, that reaches my low back. Brown eyes. You will most likely find me in a pair of faded jeans, and tank top. I don't find myself pretty, but I know that I'm not ugly either. I don't really have any secrets in this diary..none that I am going to tell anyway :) I guess if we are talking about my life in general, my secret would be my lesbianism, but the people who I want to know pretty much all know. I just want to be happy. Happy with whatever happens in my life. I hope to find that happiness by becoming a vet, and working around animals all day. They bring me happiness by the paw load. I can be a listener, and be your friend. I can be a shoulder to cry on, or someone to celebrate with. I can be there for those I love. I can't understand hate. Simple as that. Or maybe it's just I don't want to... What is love? I think love is what you make it out to be. To me, it's an emotion that takes over your heart. Something that makes you see the good in everything around you. It makes you light, it reminds you how to smile. It's compromise. It's finding someone that makes you complete, and working hard on keeping that connection. It can be painful, but, sometimes, making up for that pain makes it all worth it. Love is what you feel inside. Love is finding a friend that you can't live without. Friendship is being there for someone, through thick and thin. No matter what they have done in the past, if you are a true friend, you can put it behind you, and give them a hug when they really need it. Friendship withstands the bounds of time. It's an unconditional love, true friendship. That I'll forget me somewhere along the way. That's I'll forget who I am, and what I stand for, what I am fighting for. I'm afraid I'll get bitter, and forget all that I have worked so hard to learn. I guess in a way, I am afraid of time, and what it can do to a person. I'd like to think I am. I think, however, that sometimes, strength is confused with rigidness. Someone who doesn't cry, who doesn't show emotion, isn't strong. Someone who can come above it all, everything life throws at them, without losing spirit, they are strong. I would like to think of myself like that. Think of myself of someone who makes a point to keep pluggin' on, keep smiling, keep being myself, no matter what happens with my life. I'd buy my mom a small cottage on the beach, and then use what I have left to purchase a house with a few acres to have horses on. Hmm..that I snore sometimes? I don't know..I guess that I am just me. That I am not perfect. That I can be pissy sometimes, but regardless, I will always love them. I will always be there when they need me. I want to be honest with those around me, just for one day, and tell everyone what's really on my mind. There are a lot of places I would like to be. On a horse's back, underneath a silver moon. In her arms. On top of my roof looking at the stars. With my grandmother, making biscuits, before her stroke. Or..maybe I am where I want to be right now. Heh, this question brings back a memory..hehe..yeah, anyway, I think everyone already knows the answer to that question. Too much to list here. I want to fly, spread my wings and soar through the sky. I want things to work out. I want to be happy. I want my mom to be happy. I want the world to forget hate, and realize, that everything isn't as bad as they originally thought. I don't know, I want so much.. <-//->
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