2001-11-05
4:05 p.m.

I woke up this morning, and let my dogs out. I was keeping a close eye on them, for last night, they came in with a dead animal smell. I figured they had gotten a rabbit, or something. This morning, they all stopped at the stairs of my back porch. From where I was standing, I couldn't see anything. As I moved closer, I had to grab the rail and close my eyes.

Last week, the woman I babysit for called me and asked me if I had seen her little shelti, Jazz. He constantly wonders away from their house, and ends up here. He hasn't been neutered, so wondering is just a natural part of that. I wasn't too concerned, and I just kept an eye out for him. She hadn't called again, so I assumed they found him. Well, at the foot of my stairs, I found him this morning.

**Warning- Below will be a rather graphic description of him, I just have to get it out somewhere, so beware before you read this**

I'm not sure what happened, but he was badly massicated. His jaw bone was showing, there was a hole in his side, and he was covered in maggotts. I turned around, and shakily walked into the house. Taking a few deep breaths, I doubled gloved up on my hands, and put a towel around my face so that I could actually breath. I pulled out a black garbage bag, and went to put him in. At first, I was frightened that my dogs might have ganged up on him or something, although, my dogs have always played with him. Having him dead, in my back yard, however, had my suspicions up. I just had to make sure, for my own self, that my dogs hadn't done anything. I looked at him, and his bones were crushed. I think he might have had two ribs still attatched. His femur was pushed up where the shoulder blade should have been. It was awful. He had been dead for along time, because his tissue was rotting away, and the maggots were everywhere. I had to close my eyes and regroup. I -knew- this dog, this wasn't just some wild animal, this was an animal that I knew.

From what I can tell, he was hit by a car, and after that, I'm not sure what happened. It's possible he went into the woods to die, and my dogs dragged him into the yard. He could have also died and crawled into my front yard. I really don't know how he made it into my back yard, but somehow, my dogs must have dragged him into the yard. It was horrible. I believe that that image will be with me for a long time.

I was going to wait for Robin, the owner, to get home, but I began to get worried that he might not have been up to date on his rabies. If that was the case, I was going to haul all of my dogs to the clinic to get booster shots. I called her at work, and told her. She was sobbing on the phone, and once again, I found myself begging for the right words. How could I comfort someone who was experiencing such a loss?

Death is such a hard thing to deal with, and lately, I have had to experience it, through others, far too much. So, rest in peace little Jasper.

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