March 01, 2005 I think I just need a break from work. The only days I really ever take off are when I am deathly ill and can't even enjoy them. My weekend is generally nothing but me catching up on all the things I couldn't get done during the week. As soon as I get caught up, it's Sunday night and it's another week all over again. It's a vicious cycle. I feel kind of bad because Dr. C wanted me to come in and do an emergency surgery with her on Saturday. I don't mind doing emergency surgeries, but I was just so exhausted after this week that I just couldn't make myself do it. Plus, I am not the only person, despite what Dr. C seems to think, that can run anesthesia. I know that she trusts me, and that I work well with her, and know what she wants before she asks, but other people there are perfectly capable. I know she's mad at me, but it wasn't like it was something that walked in the door with it's guts hanging out or anything, it was a planned surgery from friday, and there were plenty of regular staff there on Saturday that could help her. I did not need to come in on one of my few days off to stare at a heart monitor for two hours. I don't why I am trying to justify my actions here, I guess I just feel guilty when I don't give a hundred and ten percent. I really do love my job, I think I am just a bit burnt out right now. Between work and school I just want a bit of a break. <-//->
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