October 21, 2002
3:49 p.m.

Have there ever been so many things you wanted to say to a person, that none of them came out? Have you ever sat down for a moment, mulling over all the things that you wished you said, while kicking yourself for not saying them? Have you ever been so nervous that your hands were actually shaking? Have you ever wanted to tell someone they were beautiful, but didn't have the courage? Have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but knew it just wasn't right? Have you ever realized how much you missed something?

I've spent the day cleaning my room, getting ready to take up my carpet and get new stuff in here. While doing this, I started thinking more of moving out than I have in a really long time. Just something my Mom said, I don't even remember what it was now, but I just started thinking about it. I even went as far as looking in the classifieds for apartments, and houses for rent. I could make it with a room mate. I don't know what it is that suddenly sparked this whole thing. Maybe it's Roger, maybe it's my Mom, maybe it's me growing up. I don't really want to move out, I don't really want to jump into the full adult lifestyle of bills, rent, and such things. I guess it's just thoughts. I don't think I will be moving out anytime soon.

I spent a lot of time looking at pictures today. Pictures of different people, from friends, to my family. It just got me in an introspective mood. How things change, and how they stay the same. That's what life is about though isn't it?

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