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2001-09-08 I am really proud of my mom. Last night, as I managed to completely demolish the bagels I was cooking, she smiled and said, "Whichever girl you settle down with better be a better cook than you, or you are never going to eat." She then continued on with whatever it was she was doing, leaving me staring at her back, open mouthed. I know it's hard for her, hard for her to accept that part of me, but I am so glad that she is trying. I know that a lot of parents in the same situation shove it off into some closet in their brain, never bringing it up, thinking that maybe, if it's never mentioned, it just goes away. It doesn't go away, it's a part of that person, it's a part of me. My mom is finally reaching that conclusion, and she is making a really big effort to become comfortable with that part. For that I am greatful, because she is the person I need most on my side. My mom went to the mail box tonight, and found a letter from the disability office. They denied her again. ::sigh:: Now she's back to being depressed, and so am I. I just don't know how we are going to do it anymore. I only bring in about five hundred dollars a month, and compared to the amount that goes out, there is no way we can make ends meet. I just feel lost sometimes. I want everything to work out. I want to quit worrying about how we are going to afford groceries, or the mortgage payment. Blah, I don't know, hopefully things will calm down, and get better. I can only have hope, and faith in that. <-//->
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