2001-11-08
4:33 p.m.

So, my mom and I ended up sitting on my bed crying together tonight. She came home from the doctor's office, after finding out that he wouldn't fill out a form that she needs today. We can't send the disability paperwork off until this doctor fills out the form. He has had it for three days, and is charging a hundred dollars just to fill it out. So, that already had her a little angry, when she goes by the mailbox, finding out we are once again overdrawn. My paycheck this month didn't even make three hundred dollars. Then, she drives up, carrying some groceries, when Karima jumps up on her, making her spill her glass of tea. With all the bad stuff going on, it sent her over the top. She got into a sort of rage, and just started yelling at me.

Since my verbally abusive step-father, anytime someone yells irrationally at me, I start having flash backs of him. This happened, and I just started sobbing. When she was done with her tirade, I made my way to my room, where I sat in a corner, clutching a pillow to my chest. My mom peaked her head in my room a few moments later, and came and hugged me, saying she was sorry as she cried along with me. We sat like that for about ten minutes, both of us crying all the frustration out of us.

I hate it when she gets like that, which often happens when she is stressed. She's reached a level beyond stress, trying to do everything she can to fix things for us. I am lost as to how to help her. I know I can't take the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I hate to see people hurt. Especially those that are so close to me. I want to make everything just go away for her, and I can't.

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