2001-07-08
3:31 p.m.

It's funny how the people that know you the best don't really seem to know you at all. It's amazing how the person who takes an extra moment to open the door for you can affect your life in such a big way. It's mind boggling how a stranger can see into your soul, and know the truth. Life always seems to confuse me, but I grow and learn from the confusion. I look back on life, and realize that some of the little things that I thought had no affect, actually changed me, when the big catastrophies ended up being thrown away in my mind. Life..what a funny thing.

At the clinic the other day, a man and woman came in with their cat. Things didn't look good with the cat, and I saw the woman about to cry. I put down the iv I had been holding, and walked over to her and gave her a hug. After she dried up her tears, and I walked out of the room, she told my mom, and the doctor what a sweet person I was. I didn't find this out until today. When I had walked back in the room with the cat, the lady had smiled at me, and thanked me for volunteering. Something that had come so naturally to me had really impacted someone's life. She was in pain, I gave her a hug, I made her smile in a hard time. If felt good, it felt really good.

I've never considered myself a people person, partly because the anxiety disorder made it hard, but also because I just don't enjoy the company of many people. I've always thought that people caught that vibe off of me, but I have been proven wrong. Costumers have been commenting on me quite a lot at the clinic, saying what a "nice young lady" I am. Although I think it's weird, I also think it's nice. I really come alive while I am there. I don't mind talking to people. I don't mind getting on my hands and knees and scrubbing. Since I have been working there, I have started to grow as a person again, and I love the feeling. One gentlemen found me so nice, that he is offering to give me his two goats, because he wants them to have a good home. Then, another lady insisted that I get two free riding lessons, and actually begged me to be a goat handler in a show she is going to. What the hell do I know about handling goats? When I told her that I had very limited experience with goats, she said that she insisted on teaching me. So I said, sure, why not. So, in a couple of weeks, I am going to learn how to handle a show goat, doesn't that sound interesting?

In a way, this ties in with my earlier statement about life. In my mind, I had no affect on these people's lives. I took them to a room, I got the animals history, I chatted for a few minutes, and I left. It was such a small contribution on my part, but to them, I took the extra time to answer question, and talk to them about their pet. I affected them in a way I didn't know. My point? Never underestimate the impact you have on someone's life. A simple smile could really change someone's life.

Oh, and to you, I'm sorry you don't really know me at all.

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