2001-07-04
5:33 a.m.

Independence day, a day where we celebrate our freedom. Freedom. I think I am begining to forget the meaning of the word. Are we really free? In this world where free thought is shunned by the mindless drones that come out of those perfect molds. Oh yeah, you can be free, as long as you stick to the plan, but diverting from that path will bring you nothing but heart ache.

I watched her lose her spirit, day by day, a little more was drained away. Why..because she walked off the path, she wanted to make her own life, she wanted to be happy. She gave me the strength to follow her off the path, and for that I am so greatful. I remember being at her house just after we began dating. We were laying in her bed, and she had her arm around me. I remember closing my eyes, and feeling her heart beat in time with mine, our breathing meshed together, our intertwined hands helped complete the link, we became one. When she leaned over and kissed my neck, I remember getting that chill, and wondering how anyone could think it was wrong. How anyone could think loving like that was wrong. After she went to sleep, I sat up in bed, and I just looked at her, I was allowed to see her at total peace, her mind weaving a dream world. I touched her face gentely, not wanting to wake her, and just ran my hand over the contours of it. That was freedom, I was free then.

That was then, this is now. That freedom, it's gone. It's been drained away by all those who hated, who said it couldn't happen. Her spirit is gone, it's finally reached empty. With her spirit, and freedom goes one of the most wonderful loves that I have ever known. It was drained away with everything else, cast away by those too brainwashed to ever question the path they are on. I love that girl with all of my heart, with everything that I am, and there is nothing that can ever take that from me. She is my other half, and maybe, someday, we'll join again. Join in a time when freedom is true, not some contract with rules and stipulations.

So, today when fireworks go off everywhere, I will celebrate for those who fought and died, but I will not celebrate for freedom. I can't celebrate for something that doesn't exist, that is just some illusion painted on by a false God, leading the unsuspecting deeper into their trap. Until I can say I love you without being punished, we are not truely free.

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