2001-06-23
10:23 p.m.

Well, I did it...a new layout. I really liked the old one, but it was taking far too long to load, so, I have put it away for a rainy day..pardon the pun. Now the page looks best on IE, but since I use netscape too, I have tried to make it presentable on there as well. I hope everyone likes the new layout.

I had a therapy session yesterday, and it actually went really well. Every day that goes by seems to make it a little easier to actually be happy with me. I'm finally getting to that point where I can stand up to myself, and put my degrating thoughts aside. My biggest fault is expecting too much of myself, and I am trying to get over that. I spoke to my therapist about this, and told her that since I came out, that I feel as if I am on the right path, that I am liking myself more.

I've also been trying to get a better relationship with my dad. Over the past three years, I have let that relationship slip, hardly seeing him, although he lives literally around that corner. I really do love him, it's just that our paths, our choices are so different. He doesn't know how to be there for me emotionally, which is something I really need from him at this point in my life. I've been trying to include him in things I enjoy, and he seems to be coming around, as if he is realizing now that I am a person, not just the little kid I used to be. I've made him drive me to the vets several times now, so he can get an idea of where I spend a lot of my time, and where my true passion is. I think it's making him remember what being a father is all about, he forgot for a while. I think I forgot how to be a daughter too. I've spent too much time trying to be the grown up, trying to be the parent, that in the process, I forgot about being a daughter. Forgot to let my parents feel that they still had a part in my life. Like they had some control. I've had them sitting out on the bench for a long time, I'm just getting to the point where I can let them play a few. I'm trying to remember.

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