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August 29, 2005 My mom has been borrowing money from me since I was fifteen, always with the promise to pay me back soon. That soon turned into thirty thousand dollars (my whole college fund, and pretty much every single paycheck I earned for two years). Well, after a very long time, she finally paid me back. I swore I would not lend her money again. I think I might have lasted six weeks before she asked and I relented. She swore up and down she would pay me back within the month. Like a fool, I believed her once again. I wrote out a check for eight thousand dollars. I don't spend a lot of money, maybe five hundred a month, and that's on my animals. The rest of my paycheck went into my bank account so I could save it for school. I wanted to avoid using my designated college fund for as long as I could. I want to use that to pay for vet school. Well, about a year ago, I let my mom my check card so she could run an errand for me. It was an extra card I had and I never thought to get it back from her. She's my mom, I can trust her. Then, I noticed three hundred dollar withdrawals on my bank account, so I asked her about it. 'Oh, I borrowed it, I was going to put it back next week.' I got this story several times, and I kept smiling, saying oh, okay. She's my mom, and I do live in this house, rent free (I have offered to pay rent, which she declines, I guess she would rather "borrow" the money instead.) With all her borrowing, the five thousand that should be in my account is now $23. She even seemed a little shocked when I asked for her credit card to pay for my classes. I hate that I now have to look to her to pay my bills. Hell, I've been paying for all my stuff since I was sixteen. I should still be able to pay, but my nice cushion that I worked my butt off to save is gone. All I have is an IOU. I know she will pay me back, I don't question that, but it's not going to help me fifteen years down the road. I am such a strong and practical person, I just don't understand why I can't say no to her. I am fucking my self into the ground with my generosity. I love my mom, I just wish she could manage money a Then, to make it better, I am having to lie to my dad about it. He and mom got into huge fights when she was borrowing money from me (they're divorced) and I'd rather keep the fragile friendship because I hate being stuck in the middle with my parents on opposite sides. Dad is now wanting to invest the money I have in savings so that I can draw off interest, well, if we go the bank he's going to be shocked to find a large amount missing. I hate that she makes me do this, yet she continues to make horrible financial mistakes (namely loaning $20,000 to My step-father's step-daughter. Now, she decided she has no intention of paying my mom back. Who couldn't see that coming? Who is the girl going to be loyal to, her mother, or her step-father and the woman he cheated with. Hmm...) *Sigh* <-//->
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