September 19, 2004
7:13 p.m.

The clinic has been undergoing major remodeling the past couple of weeks. I swear, I feel lost now. They've moved doors and added doors. It's really weird to walk in on a monday morning after having a weekend off, and find an entire wall missing. Hopefully, it will make things run a bit smoother. I can't wait until it's all done. The clients are all a bit confused.

With all the rain from Ivan, my dogs and my horse have been really neglected lately. Thursday, when the rain was so bad here, my dogs looked at me like I had lost my mind when I asked them to go outside. We had to have a little discussion on how, even if it was raining cats and dogs, they were still not allowed to use my carpet as a bathroom. Rowdy stood under the porch for a good ten minutes, looking out at the rain, and then looking back at me. It was if he was saying, 'You have -got- to be kidding, Mom.' After I stood there, arms crossed, glaring at him, he finally decided to outsmart me, by lifting his leg and peeing off the porch onto the bushes, then, he turned around, tail wagging, and trotted inside. Maggie, Dink, and Piper were not so lucky.

I also spent some time on Thursday questioning my sanity. After my mom finally paid me back all the money she owed me, I swore that I wouldn't lend her money again. How do you say no to your mother, though? I ended up lending her $8,000 to pay off funeral expenses, and a few other odds and ends. Then, once we got home, and I watched her pack her suitcase for the cruise she is on this week, I had to ask myself, "What the hell was I thinking?" It is not my fault that she lent all the money from my grandfather to Roger's ex step-daughter (esd), only to find out that through esd's stupidity and such, mom will not be able to get any of the money back for at least a year. Then, while I am at home, working, going to school, being responsible, she is out, on another cruise, when she can't pay her bills. ::bangs head against desk:: I have to wonder if I am mad at her for being so irresponsible..or mad at me for lending her money AGAIN. Grr.

I've been thinking a lot lately about next year when I quit the clinic to go to school full time. It just seems scary to me, not working there anymore. It's become so much of who I am. I mentioned it to Kim a couple of weeks ago, and she just kind of stopped, and looked at me. 'I just can't imagine you not here anymore.' I started wondering, when did -that- happen. Sometimes, I still feel like the frightened little girl who begged the doctor to let her watch her dog's surgery. I still remember being so amazed by everything I saw. How did I suddenly become a part of the clinic. Kim's comment made me realize how much I have changed, and grwon while working up there. All the new people come to me to ask questions. Somehow, I keep getting put in charge of more and more stuff. With difficult animals, or treatments, Heather gets called in. What happened to the wide-eyed teenager, standing in the corner, amazed that the doctor even knows her name? Looking back, I am shocked to realize how much I have learned, without even realizing. Three years ago, I couldn't have told you what parvo was, let alone how to treat it. It's just so amazing, there aren't words. I don't know, I guess it has to hit me every once in a while. I just take it for granted sometimes. Anyway, the whole point of that diatribe was that I am going to miss the clinic, a lot. Although, I have to admit, I will enjoy actually having a little time to myself.

I don't think I should watch the animal cops shows on animal planet. I get so mad at the people. I just want to jump through the screen and kill them with my bare hands. The sad part is, I've seen similar cases at the clinic. It's just not fair how some people treat their loyal companions. Although, Animal Cops:Miami, I think it was, kind of cracks me up. They try and make some situations way worse than they really are. The were showing a c-section on an underweight dog, and one of the puppies didn't start breathing immediately. They kept saying, 'oh, this is a bad puppy, it will be a miracle if it makes it.' I was staring at the perfectly healthy puppy, wondering what the hell they were talking about. Then, the tech starts trying to put and oxygen mask up to his nose, which really isn't going to help if the puppy isn't breathing yet. All he really needed to do was sling it and rub it. Finally, he does that, and lo and behold, the puppy begins to breath. Then it was as if he had performed a miracle. Heck, if that's all it takes, then I've done several. I don't know, I guess because I've seen similar cases, I can tell they are really exaggerating for drama or whatever.

Anyway, I have a test tomorrow in math, so I should probably look over my notes right now.

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