2002-06-26
9:14 p.m.

I have never been truely disappointed in my mom before. I have always admired her, and though she has done wrong, and made mistakes, I have never been disappointed in her. I was today.

We have always been in everything together. It was always me and her against the world. She made a choice today that affects me in a profound way, and she never asked my opinion. I'm not really sure how to react, how to take it. Everything in me is saying that this is the wrong thing to do. I've never thought of moving out until I was done with my core college classes, but today I thought about it. I thought about it hard.

I know it's hard to understand, without specifics, but this is something my Mom doesn't want the family to know about, and I have to respect that. I don't mind any of you knowing about it, but since I know my family still reads this sometimes, I am going to have to forgo the details in here. I don't care if they have to sneak and read about me, but they don't need to read about my Mom's personal stuff. I am thinking of starting another diary to talk about stuff like this, I don't know yet. I hate that I can't trust my family, that really bothers me.

Anyway, to get back to what I was talking about, I am completely lost. What my Mom did, not only disappointed me, it hurt me, a lot. I guess I just got so used to us being partners, equals, that something like this never really entered my mind. If anyone wants to know the details, e-mail me. I hate being hurt, it's the worst feeling in the world, especially when it is those you love the most.

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