November 29, 2003
9:17 p.m.

My grandmother's viewing and funeral were last weekend, and everything went really well. My whole family were sharing my feelings of relief. We had all been there, and seen how unhappy she was, and how she was suffering. She lived longer than anyone had even begun to hope she would. I can't remember how many times the doctors said she only had a month left. I think she lived mainly for my grandfather, and when died, so did the spark that kept her going. It wasn't that I loved my grandmother any less, or that I am less saddened by her passing, but, that past six months have really been a long goodbye. Everyday, she slipped farther away, and I think it gave everyone time to make their peace with her, and to say farewell. I still have to resist the urge to pick up the phone and call them. I must be one of the weirdest teenagers in the world, but my grandparents have always been an integral part of my life. They were never the scary grandparents I hear some people claim. The ones that have the houses that smell of mothballs, and send ugly hand-knitted sweaters for Christmas. No, my grandparents had the house that smelled of fresh baked cookies, with the tire swing hung by my grandfather in the back. As much as I miss them, I am okay with everything. At peace, if you will.

Thanksgiving was a bit hard, the first time in my whole life that my family hasn't gotten together. Things change though, and I've always known that this would happen. My grandparents held everyone together, and with them gone, it's going to be different.

I was very proud of Dr. C, who was able to say sorry, and give me a hug without the ten minutes of hair twirling and foot shuffling of last time. She ended up calling me yesterday (supposed to be my day off mind you) when the girl who was signed up to help didn't show up. She asked if I knew the girl's number, which I didn't, and then continued to talk to me for like ten minutes, finally sighing and saying, while throwing in just enough of a guilt-trip whine 'well, I guess I am going to go clean -all- those cages(we are full from Thanksgiving boarders)' I bit my lip, stomped on my toe, tried to cover my mouth with my hand, but still managed to get a 'do you want me to come in and help' through. Gah, Dr. C knows just how to word things so that she's asking me to do something in a way where it seems like I vonlunteered. I might as well get a tattoo of "Sucker" on my forehead. I went in and helped, although, I think she ended up doing more work than I did. She could have handled it on her own, I think she just wanted company. We did, however, have a nice rant about Amy, who had done the kennels Thursday night, leaving the entire place a disgusting mess. Nothing new there, same stuff she always does. So, after cleaning, I was getting ready to go home when Dr. C goes 'have a nice rest of the day off, thanks a lot for coming in. I am going to come back around six, I guess to do the kennels for the night ::pitiful stare::...we sure are full for the holiday aren't we ::continues to stare' Me, looking around for anything to tape my mouth shut with 'do you want me to come in for evening treatments' Her, trying to hide the smug grin 'Well, only if you -really- want to' ::pitiful eyes again:: Grr. One day, I really will learn how to say no..honest!

Oh well, homework is calling me, but I just wanted to write a quick update.

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