2001-04-11 John: Someone is named Pete or Peter. Are you Pete? Heh, you have to wonder about this guys sanity. It was really funny. I am still amazed at how many people I have drawn into my relationship with Jenn. I feel like I am a series on tv that everyone is tuning into, waiting for the next episode to come on. I mean that in a good way. I mean, people I have never talked to before will IM me, and ask what's going on, and if they can help at all. I never dreamed that I would get support from so many people. When I admited to being bi, I kept waiting for the number of readers to drop, for people to be disgusted, but more and more people have been reading me. I've gotten so many E-mails of people just offering support, some even make me cry. It's really a wonderful feeling to know that I have touched so many people, and that I have so many friendly faces rooting for me. I saw Jenn's dad online tonight, and I wanted to IM him so badly. I just wanted to beg him to allow me just a few minutes to see Jenn. I didn't want to make him mad, or make things worse for Jenn. I want her as my girlfriend, but I need her as my friend. I hate that both have been taken away from me. I feel like I am a broken record, like I get on her and say the same thing everyday. I guess that's because it's all that I seem to think about lately. Hopefully I'll snap out of it. I mean, I have to look at what I have. Jenn is still alive, things will work out eventually. SO, all in all I am lucky, I just need to get my butt in gear and get out of this depression <-//->
|