2001-09-20
9:15 p.m.

I never let myself get attached to animals at the clinic. Because, eventually, they all leave, whether it's with their owners, or with their spirits, they leave. I broke that rule though, and I let my heart go out to a certain horse there. His hoof was on the verge of falling off, and he had sores on both his hips from laying down so long. He was so dehydrated that he drank about thirty gallons of water in a one hour time period. I was angry at his owners, how could they let a horse get that bad. Normally I can turn away, do my job, and give the animal the best care possible. There was something about his eyes though, and I found myself going down there, and brushing him, talking to him, just being there. He would limp to his stall door to greet me, giving out a little neigh. I would give him a mint, tickle his muzzle. I broke my rule. We soaked his foot every day, bandaging it, trying to save his life. We gave him a handful of medicines every morning, injecting them into an IV in his neck. He was too far gone though, his hoof slowly rotting away, and his owners opted to have him euthanized. I broke my rule. To me, that horse was more than another patient, he was a friend. I connected with him, and I'd like to think he gave me something. He gave me fond memories, and he made me remember Cracker, my old horse. Before the owner loaded him on their trailor to euthanize him, I snuck into his stall, feeding him half of a doughnut. He rubbed his head up against me, I kissed his forehead, and I said my goodbyes. I went about my job, not letting on how affected I was. When I got home, I cried. I broke my rule.

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