2001-07-19
3:20 p.m.

This is my adventure at Marcella's house..where I meet Matt Good, the man living under her bed..hehe..
Heather and Matt Good make a dangerous combination. Last night after we updated, Matt snuck out from under my bed. He gave Heather quite a fright�

I'm your biggest fan!!! uh huh. "It's Harrrrrrddddddd-RAIN!"

Heather jumped back from him, giving me a weird look. She obviously didn't see Matt's wonderfulness right away. How could she not!?

"Uh..what?" Matt then grabbed her in a big hug, chanting "hardrain hardrain hardrain" over and over again.

I gave Matt a swift kick in the shins. "Stop it Matt. You're annoying both of us. Go back to sleep."

Matt then adorably pouted "..but but but� it's HARDRAIN!" I'm her biggest fan, said Matt!

"yes," I sighed, exasperated. "and I'm your biggest fan. But do you think this means that she is going to live under your bed??????!!!!!?????"

Matt thought for a second, perplexed. "I was maybe hoping so."

"Uh.." Heather edged her way behind me, trying her best to hide. She began to regret ever coming near my bed in the first place.

Matt did not seem to notice Heather's fear of his eternal lust. "hardrain," not noticing the look I gave him, either, "I really am your biggest fan. Your writing touches my heart, soul, and aching spirit. I hang on your every word!!!" matt then begin to sing� here is a new song I made up for you� 'I'm hanging by a moment here with yoooooouuuuuuu!'

I did not even bother trying to tell matt that the video he saw this morning was not his own work, and the creative genuis he once harboured had been taken over by Heather.

"Thank you..?..I think.." Heather kind of peeked around me back. "My name is Heather..not hard rain."

"You will always be Hardrain to me!" Matt said proudly. "Because I am you biggest fan."

"you know," I interjected. "I'm really worried about your (here I shot matt an evil glance) obessive fans, Heather. It is going a little too far, don't you think? What are they going to do when matt becomes so infatuated with you he decides to�"

"what?" heather looked even more frightened then she had now that matt was lunging at her, demanding an autograph (signed HARDRAIN, of course), a picture, and another bear hug. It was in his nature.

"um, nevermind," I said.

Matt then tried to convince Heather to come under the bed with him, to see his lovely home. Heather lifted an eyebrow, and at my encouraging, decided to go have a look see.

I followed behind them, and noticed Matt quickly showing her his shrine dedicated to 'Hardrain.' He had every single entry framed and on a wall, along with a coke can she had thrown into the garbage. Notice we said garbage, and not recycling bin. Is ::cough::Hardrain::cough:: perfect?

"YES!" proclaimed Matt. He lunged at Heather again. "Marcella. I have something to tell you. I can not be your love slave anymore. I must immigrate to America to live with HARDRAIN and become a vet-er-a-nar-I-an!!!!!"

"look, matt, if you can't even pronounce it properly, just say vet." I said, greatly annoyed. "what???? I don't wanna fight in no jagoff shoeshine TIP WAR!"

Heather then spoke again "Uh..Matt..I don't mean to be rude, but there is no room under my bed for you, it's stuffed with all my clothes and such. And..my name is Hea-ther" She said, pronouncing it slowly.

"the WEATHER outside is frightful (being rain city and all) but HARDRAIN is sure delightful!" Matt sang, pulling out his favourite acoustic guitar from under the bed. "hey, I wrote another lil song for YOU!"

I love you dearly

like berry pie

I know someday you will be mine

Your writing's pretty and so are you

Your thoughts are deep and very true

So come with me, to the bottom of the sea

Where I'll build you a garden and make you tea!

"heather, why are you fans always freakier than everyone else on diaryland? Even bobby doesn't have people like this� at least I hope not."

"well," said Heather. "obviously they can connect with my�my�my.. muse?"

"Isn't she just wonderful Marcella!?" Matt said cheerfully.

Heather then had a wonderful idea of how to get rid of Matt's obsessiveness. "Oh Matt" she said swooning at his feet "I had such a like, totally good time at, like, the mall yesterday. I like, bought this totally awesome shirt, and like, it's so like, totally cute. And like, there was this like, super hot guy, and like, I wanted to get his, like digits, but like, I was like too super shy. But then, I like went to this party, and like hooked up with this like, guy, and we like, smoked, and did some pot, and like, made out. It was like, so awesome."

Matt slowly began to back away. Then he started to cry. Tears streamed ferociously down his supple cheeks. "oh, hardrain. You aren't what I thought you were at all! You're just (and here he paused for dramatic effect)� **choke**NORMAL*sob*� PEERRRRSSSSOOONNNNN."

Marcella protectively hugged her Matt, stroking his greasy hair repeatedly. "oh, matt, it's ok. I knew you had to find out one day. I knew from the very beginning, but I didn't want to spoil your hopes and dreams. Hopefully the rest of Heather's followers will see the light one day, too."

"BUT I LOVE HER!" matt buried his face in Marcella's shirt. "I know you do, Matt. We all do. But someday this madness has got to stop!"

Heather sighed, happy that he finally got over his obsession with Hardrain, and realized that she was actually a normal, real person.

But now she knew exactly who she was gonna pass the Hardrain reins on to when they got too much for her to handle�



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