2001-08-13
8:21 a.m.

Yesterday, I was only supposed to go into work for two hours. The clinic is closed on Sundays, so I only really had to go in to feed, medicate, and walk the animals. Since I wasn't planning on being there long, I had my mom stay. Well, we had one emergency after another pile in. Before I knew it, Dr. Fuller was even giving my mom orders.

There was a dog who had a very severe case of kidney stones. We got her stable, and she seemed to be doing fine, so I placed her back in her cage, and went to help out with the other two emergencies we had. I continued to go back and check on her, and she was doing okay. I had been working on an 18 day old puppy, and I hadn't checked on the dog for about ten minutes. I went in, and I noticed she was laying kind of funny, with her mouth open. I walked up, and did a reflex test, where you touched around the eye. The dog should blink. There was nothing. I then touched directly on the eye..nothing. I didn't know what to do. I just kind of stood there and stared at the dog for a few seconds. I then ran to get Dr. Fuller. We did CPR on the dog, but the dog was already too far gone.

It was such a shock, because the dog had been doing better. It threw me for a loop. I mean, yes, I have had to put a lot of animals down while being there, but I haven't had them die on their own while I was caring for them. It just really shocked me. Dr. Fuller began to feel really guilty too, saying that we weren't an emergency clinic, and didn't have the staff to deal with such bad cases. He kept trying to figure out what could have been done differently. I felt a little responsible too, thinking if I had just checked on the dog sooner. I know there was nothing I could have really done, it was just such a shock for me. It really bothered my mom too, because she had been with the dog for a while, telling her she would be okay. It was just a surprise for us all.

My two hours turned into ten hours, and it wasn't an easy day. I then had already planned to go riding, so I went straight there, but my mind wasn't on it. I was a million miles away. What ifs running through my head. I guess I just wasn't prepared for that dog to die, it wasn't an option in my head. I mean, really sick dogs that come in the clinic, my mind is already prepared for their death, but this dog wasn't supposed to die. Not in my head. I guess I should have realized how serious it was, because the dogs BUN and Creatney (sp) were off the chart, which is a sign of renal failure. I don't know, I guess it was just that dog's time to go.

Okay, I need to move off of that subject. I got my package from Stained lips on Saterday. I listened to the Melissa Ferrick CDs right away, and they were wonderful. Thank you so much for sending those to me! I love getting packages in the mail, I am just super horrible about sending stuff back. Just ask Mars. ::smiles innocently::

You know, I have met so many amazing people through here. People that will stop everything to give a few words of support and encouragement. Thanks you guys for standing up for me, and therefor for what you believe in. I am not trying to be anyone special, I just want to be someone who can stand up for what I believe in, what I cherish as truth. What I say isn't something amazingly praiseworthy, I'm just trying to be the best 'me' I can be. The best me that I know how to be is the me that is honest, truthful, and just herself.



<-//->

New Older Notes E-mail Rings Host Vote Wishlist