2001-05-26
11:04 p.m.

I have been wondering what to write for a while now, when I got an alert that someone had signed my guestbook. Well, the girl that signed gave me tonight's topic. In my guestbook, she mentioned that she was struggling with her sexuality, and admired me for having the courage to have a relationship with a girl. So, I dedicate this entry to her, and anyone else struggling. I can only tell you my experiences, and what I felt, and learned, but maybe they can help you.

First off, coming out is your choice. You don't have to do it. As long as you are comfortable with yourself, it doesn't matter who else knows. It also helps to not lable yourself as lesbian, or bi, or whatever, because that is not who you are. It's just a piece of your personality, but it doesn't control you. Just let your heart lead the way, if you fall in love with a girl, great, if you fall in love with a guy, well that's great too. It's taken me a while to realize that. I spent so much time feeling weird, constantly thinking 'I'm a lesbian,' until I took a step back and realized that I am still the same person I have alway been. I just finally let my heart take over, and I am a better person for it.

In today's society, it's still hard. I won't deny that, and anyone who speaks differently is lying. It takes a lot of courage sometimes to be able to grab your partners hand, and show the world that you are in love with someone. You will still meet those people who will judge you, you will still have those people who want to change you, to "cure" you. You just have to let them go, and never let them make you question yourself. You are the only person you have to please. Even though you will have those hard times, you will also meet wonderful friends who support you completely. Never lose faith in yourself, no matter what life throws at you, be proud of who you are.

Heh, I feel like I am writing an essay on how to be gay, but this isn't about sexuality. Some of what I said in there holds true to everyone. Never let anyone else put you down, remember that always. Just be proud of who you are.

To the girl who signed my guestbook, or anyone else, feel free to E-mail me, because I am always willing to listen. I won't have all the answers, but I can offer support, and sometimes that is just the thing you need.

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