2001-09-29
7:44 p.m.

I'm finally back, and it's good to be home. I spent far too much time in the car today with my grandfather, who's driving abilities, I fear to say, are declining. I think I have wiplash from all the sudden stops. After driving to his house, we helped him get my grandmother settled, and then were back in the car for the hour drive to the vets to pick up the dogs. I have a feeling that they missed me, considering I was knocked flat on my butt from the force of them jumping on me. I also have about a hundred scratches running up and down my bare arms.

So, did I have fun? I guess I sort of did, playing with my little cousins and such, but I just wasn't in the vacationing mood. I had stuff on my mind, and I found myself becoming withdrawn. Then, the fact that my mom and I had absolutely no money, asside form the twenty dollars in my pocket, and she wanted to keep it a secret, brought my mood down. I hate lying, having whispered conversations. Making up reason why we didn't want to go shopping with everyone else. Then, my mom borrowed my money to go and get something, and she came back with a bag of stuff, stuff that we didn't need, and certainly couldn't afford. ::sigh::

I hate that I think so much sometimes. Thousands of what ifs constantly running through my head. My family constantly asking me about school, about boyfriends, the conversations I always want to avoid. I guess I just wasn't ready to do my 'act perky and happy' routine. I don't mean to sound like it was horrible, because I did have fun. My mom and I played ping pong..which...well, she really sucks at. We laughed so much that our sides hurt, and we both collapsed on the sofa. We haven't done anything like that in a while.

I really did have more to talk about, but traveling all day has made me tired. Thank you everyone who wished me well. :)

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