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2001-04-06 Jenn's mom found my diary, and read all of me entries, so she found out about everything. Her parents didn't take it to well, and have forbiden Jenn and I from having any contact with each other. I can't even begin to explain the amount of pain I felt in that moment that she told me. It was like every part of my body was crushed, and my heart dropped down to my feet. Then later on, Jenn's dad IMed me, and said some things that just drove that knife deeper. I love and respect both of Jenn's parents, and to feel that they hate me is killing me inside. I understand that they don't want to see their daughter go down a path that they don't choose. My mom had the same emotions, she wanted to rip me away from Jenn, but she listened to my side of the story, and knew that it would kill me to take that away. I love Jenn more than I can express. She touched my heart and soul in a way I never thought possible. Through her, I have learned so much about myself, and she has helped me become comfortable in my own skin. I've realized that it doesn't matter what people think, that it only matters what I feel. I fell in love with a wonderful person, sure, she happened to be a girl, but it's the soul I fell in love with..not the gender. I told Jenn that if I have to wait a year, until she turns eighteen, I will. The bond I have with her, the love I feel, it's worth waiting for. I honestlly think what we have is the real thing. What makes this all so hard, is not only has the person I love with all my heart been taken away, but my best friend as well. It's like I am mourning the death of two people. My mom and I canceled the trip to New York, because I just couldn't go. A piece of me is missing now, and I don't know how long it will be until I get it back. We aren't even allowed to talk on the phone or the internet. It feels like all the work I have done to get myself out of this depression, and to finally be comfortable with who I am, has been washed away. Now I feel like I am falling downward, and there is nothing to stop me, or slow me down. Jenn was my life line, she was the one who I could count on for anything. She is my best friend. The older links and stuff will be back up shortly, no sense in hiding them now. I'm not ashamed in any way of how I feel for Jenn. I don't think it is wrong to love someone. Gender, race, religion, none of it should be important, as long as there is love. <-//->
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