January 01, 2003
11:41 p.m.

Have you ever had one of those dreams that just kind of sticks with you all day. One of those dreams that you are reluctant to wake up from. One of those dreams that is so real you can taste it, feel it, smell it. I had one of those. It was a really wonderful dream, but, in a way, I wish I hadn't had it. I guess, in a way, however, it's reminding me that I can't just push thoughts in a box and forget about them. Damn my subconcious sometimes.

I had to drop by the clinic today to pick up a medicine for my cousin's cat. I was only supposed to be there for a minute, but sweet, innocent Kelly somehow tricked me into working. I need to learn how she does that ;)

The threads holding me to my Mom are breaking one by one. I was hoping the new year would start out better than this. I was more honest with my Mom tonight than I have been in a while, but I didn't go about it in a nice way. She was complaining about the amount of alamony Roger's wife is getting. I listened for about ten minutes, until I told my Mom that I didn't think it was that bad. That Roger had walked out on her, and cheated on her, and stuff like that. Now, Heather, honesty is good, but sometimes you need to keep your mouth shut. So, already, Mom is pissed with me. The day continues on, I do my dogs, and I am about to come in my room to go to bed, when she tells me I need to change the kitty litter. I have two kittens, and she has two cats, so we split the chore. This time it was her turn, since I had done it the past few tiems. She said she didn't want to do it, and that I should do it because my kittens use the bathroom more. What..does she sit there and tally it? I should have just done it, but, I guess I am just getting tired of all the crap. The next thing I know, I am telling her that I am paying the mortgage, and working all the time, and that she stays home all day, and would it really be that hard to do something simple like that to help me out. Yet another big argument between us. She keeps telling me she will pay me back. Like that makes it all better. The point is, she can be going to pay me back all day long, but I can't go to college or anything right now, because she has all my money. College classes don't take I.O.Us. Then, there are the constant things going on with Roger. I just hate being this unhappy.

Anyway, I have to get up early tomorrow to get food for my horse, so I am going to go to bed. Hopefully, tomorrow, I will wake up in a better mood. Happy 2003.

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