2001-01-11
01:49:50

For some reason I was missing my horse Cracker really badly today. I guess it's because I'm really wanting a stress release today, and I didn't really have one. Whenever I used to get upset with my mom, or life in general, I would go outside and brush him, or ride him.

It's amazing the feeling that I got when riding. I'm more of a solo perosn, I like to be alone. I don't see myself as antisocial, I love to be around my friends, but sometimes, a good book and cup of hot chocolate outweigh the group movie night. When I ride, however, I "join" with another soul. A horse may not be human, but if you ask me they have a soul just the same. When I would be ontop of Cracker, people would always tell me how my entire posture and look changed. They told me that it looked like I became complete. I always had a respect for the power my horses had. A horse is a thousand pound animal, that can easily kill a person. When I am on horseback, I realise that I am asking this animal to cooperate with me, to become one with me. With a slight tug on the reins, or a shift of my body, this large animal willingly will move, or pace himself. It's an amazing relationship. It always took my mind off my problems, because my thoughts became the horse's, and the horse's thoughts became my own.

A friend of my mom's once told my that I may not be amazing on the ground, but when I got on a horse I was stunning. I wasn't really sure whether or not it was a compliment, but...it was a compliment to my riding ability I guess. :)

I trusted cracker with my life, sometimes I would go out into the pasture, and I would hop up on his back. When I was on his back, I had no saddle, no bridle, nothing on him that would allow me to control him. He could have taken off at a full gallop, and there would have been nothing I could to do stop him. Trust, however, was the key word there. Many well say how dangerous it was, and I agree, and there is no other horse I would do it with, but Cracker always protected me. Here's a picture of Cracker and I on one of my "pasture rides." The other horse is Ginger, a 25 year old polo pony that was abused, and was going to be put down, but my mom and I rescued here. She died about a month after this was taken :( If you look closely, you can see that he is wearing nothing and I am in his hands.

So, I guess that this is another tribute of sorts to Cracker, who will always be my guiding light.

I love everything that's going on with the hate awareness thing. I believe that we are all equal, we are all people, and should be seen as such. I may not agree with certain things the people practice or do, but that's only my opinion, and I have no right to run some one else's life. Not understanding something, or agreeing it with it gives no one the right to harm another human being. All my support to MTV and their hate crimes special today. I have a lot more to write about this, but I'm tired, so now you know what tomorrow's entry will be about.

Oh, and congrats Pischina on the Survivor acceptance. ::does little happy dance for her::

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