2001-01-05
02:07:00

Well, my mom got up bright and early this morning to go see if she could get that beagle that she fell in love with. My mom went willingly..I didn't even particularly like the dog. So, when she gets home she's leading the beagle into the house, and just daring me to laugh at her. And then, while I'm standing there trying futily not to laugh, the dog, who is isn't neutered by the way, lifts his legs and marks the door. It was too much for me, I busted out laughing. Let me tell you.. I don't think my mom loved me very much at that moment.

Marcella talked on the phone again tonight, which was cool. We were talking about how dogs have individual personalities. There are so many people out there that think dogs are just meant to gaurd your property and such, but each dog is individual. They have likes and dislikes, just like every human. I think my dogs actually think they are human..and they can't seem to figure out why we yell at them for trying to sit at the kitchen table with my mom and I. My dogs also see anyone sitting indian style on the floor as a lap to sit on. All of my dogs will park themselves in your lap it given the chance. I can't see my life without dogs.

One thing I hate about social anxiety disorder, is the fact that it isn't very well know. I mean, I tell someone that's why I don't want to go somewhere, they look at me as if I have sprouted a second head. When I explain it, they always say the same speach. 'Everyone has anxiety, just get over it.' That's my dad's favorite thing to say to me. With the social anxiety, it's luck multiplying regular feelings of anxiety by five..ten on my really bad days. I mean, sometimes, all I have to do is -think- about a school classroom and I start shaking, having cold sweats, getting light headed, nausea..etc. And contrary to popular belief..it's not actuall the people that I'm afraid of, it's more the fear of being noticed I guess. That's the only way I can think of to explain it.

Oh well, I have something important to do tomorrow, so I'm going to go to bed so that I can get up and do it. Good night everyone.

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